How do I survive being a survivor?

There’s this assumption that when you “survive” an illness like cancer or heart failure that your battle is over.  What many people don’t realize is that, for the patient, surviving the illness is the easy part.  The hard part doesn’t start until you get home and start dealing with the damage done to your body or until you have to start living your “new normal”.

No one told me that I would have take 8 pills a day, that’s a good day,  and that these pills would make me dizzy, nauseous, and tired.

No one told me that the catheter would cause a UTI and that the treatment for that would then trigger C Diff.

No one told me that C Diff would send me to the ER and ultimately result in another stay in the hospital, which is where I picked up C Diff originally.

No one told me that the breathing tube that saved my life would result in damage to my esophagus.  That this damage would alter the taste and texture of everything I eat and drink.

No one told me that my monthly cycles would trigger symptoms like swelling, racing heart, and extreme fatigue.

No one told me about the memory loss or the forgetfulness

No one told me that holding my baby would make my muscles sore.

No one told me how little I would be able to do for my baby.

No one told me that I would wake up every morning praying for a day with no symptoms and go to bed every night praying to wake up the next morning.

I am going to need you to bear with me tonight because I am having a bad day.

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